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My Question

I am a 31yr. old mother of 1, married for 4 yrs. My husband and I have a great sex life (everything else is bad), but sex is creative (toys & videos). The problem is I often have serious thoughts of having sex with a woman or a woman & my husband. I don’t think I could handle another woman and my husband getting it on. I want them to both do me (I’m selfish). My question is is it normal for a heterosexual woman to fantasize about other women or is it just that my relationship with my husband is so bad. I wouldn’t even know where to find a woman to have sex with, but I would like to try.

My Answer

As my friend, Dr. Marty Klein always says, the word “normal” should not even be used in the context of sex. As long as sex is consensual, responsible, respectful, safe and isn’t hurting anyone, it’s fine. One of the most common fantasies for women is other women, and it doesn’t mean we necessarily want to try it for real. But even if you do, that’s OK too. Just be sure it’s what you really want to do. Bringing a third party into a marriage can be tricky. It can backfire on you. It can bring up feelings or situations you weren’t prepared for. The most important thing is you should communicate your feelings to your husband. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a successful marriage. Maybe it could improve yours in other areas too. Hope this is of some help.

Hope this helps!

Posted in: Ask Candida Archive