I’ve been hearing from women a lot about this lately, so much so that I actually address this issue in my book and was recently asked to do a workshop for women on how to talk dirty! Let me start by saying that in order to be comfortable with this type of bedroom dialogue you need to know that there’s nothing wrong or dirty about it. It doesn’t make you a slut or a cheap woman. Talking “dirty” is just a natural expression of what’s turning you on and what you’d like your lover to be doing, and that’s how it should be approached. Don’t feel like you have to imitate those bad porno movies with the fake moans and groans and the trite cliched exclamations…
The simplest way to begin is to react to what you’re feeling and to sort of describe what’s happening. You can start with things like, “Mmmm, that’s feels soooo good”, and, “I love how you feel inside me”, and move on to things of a more explicit nature. Let yourself go with what’s happening. Don’t edit yourself and don’t be shy. Lovemaking is one area where we are allowed to let our hair down and be the siren of our fantasies and the porn star of our own private movies. Nothing turns a man on more than seeing his woman get swept up in the passion of the moment and lose control of her otherwise prim and proper personae. So if he expresses a desire to have you “talk dirty” to him, just begin by expressing what’s happening as if you’re narrating the scene at hand. You might be surprised at how easily it can eventually come to you.
Hope this helps!
Posted in: Ask Candida Archive