Your Question
I am an 18 year old guy, how often should I be masturbating in a day? I regularly do it twice. Is masturbation good for me? Please explain the plusses and the minuses. I usually feel ashamed about doing it. Should I? Admitting you masturbate seems to be such a taboo. Do you agree?
My Answer
While we live in a world where we’re often told that self-pleasuring is wrong, health and sexuality experts agree that there’s nothing wrong with masturbating, in fact it can be a healthy sexual outlet, and a way to get to know what you sexually like and don’t like, such as the way you like to be touched or the fantasies you enjoy. There’s no consensus on how often one should masturbate in a day as long as you’re still able to function and get done with your life what you wish to get done. I would add that it seems to me twice a day for an 18 year old guy certainly does not sound like too much!
Do not feel ashamed of masturbating! It is a natural thing to do, especially for a young man of your age. The taboo surrounding masturbation stems from old superstitions and outdated mores fueled by religious fervor. There are just two reasons to be concerned about any sexual act: when it becomes a compulsion, something you can’t stop yourself from doing even when you need or want to be doing other things; and when some particular sexual need gets in the way of and/or takes the place of a real full intimate relationship with someone. In other words, if you’d rather masturbate than make love to your partner.
But it sounds to me from your letter like you’re just fine!
Hope this helps!
Your Question
I do not get enough pleasure from masturbation. In fact many times I get bored. I want to enjoy this. Can you recommend any products, books or videos that could improve my self loving technique???
My Answer
I followed up for you and found the site you should go to: try www.bettydodson.com. She is called the “mother of masturbation” and has wonderful books and videos on the subject. Masturbation is one of the most wonderful, self-affirming acts for a woman. It teaches us what we need and like, puts us in touch with our inner fantasy world, and prepares us for more fulfilling sexual relationships with partners. So look ‘er up and tell her I sent you!
Hope this helps!
Your Question
I’m a mid 50’s male. I’ve been simply overwhelmed by seeing women masturbate for as long as I can remember. My wife masturbates and loves performing the act while I masturbate to her masturbating… it’s wonderful experience. My question: Why do so few (very hard to find) videos have scenes that truly represent female masturbation in it’s glory. All the ladies seem to feel the more noise, screaming, body movement, and exaggerating the better. Fact is, I’ve seen a number of beautiful women masturbate while I masturbated with them. Not one screamed. Not one oood, or coohed or the rest of that jazz.
Please, someone please, tell these gals to be natural and not put on… please!
My Answer
I’m well aware of how erotic it can be to watch your lover masturbate. Not only do many men find it incredibly exciting to watch a woman pleasure herself, many women love watching men masturbate as well. Apropos to this, I’m in the process of editing my latest Femme movie, “Eyes of Desire”, and am working on a beautiful scene where my star, Missy, lies in the bathtub and begins thinking about a mystery man who she believes is watching her. The thought turns her on and she has a wonderful orgasm as she plays with herself. It dawned on me that so many of my movies feature women masturbating. I guess I not only find it exciting and beautiful to look at, I also think it’s very healthy for women to masturbate. They learn about their bodies and what turns them on. This leads to more fulfilling sex lives with their partners. And I agree that to portray this in an obviously fake manner really takes away from the beauty and excitement.
If you haven’t seen any of my Femme films, I will tell you the ones I think have the best scenes of women masturbating: The first one that comes to mind is “The Gift”, starring Shanna McCullough, one the best performers in the business, who not only performs beautifully, but claims to have really climaxed in this scene. Another stand-out is “Three Daughters”, which features a wonderful scene where the youngest daughter (she’s of legal age!) learns how to have an orgasm by masturbating. And of course my film, “Eyes of Desire”.
Hope this helps!
Posted in: Ask Candida Archive