Your Question
My girlfriend and I are considering having a threesome with one of her girlfriends. We have a wonderful sex life and want to try something different. I am attracted to her friend and would consider performing oral sex on her or having intercourse with her. But I don’t know if I should. I love my girlfriend very much and would never do anything to hurt her. My question is do you think I should ask her if she has a problem with me doing that to her friend. Or should we just let things happen when we do it. Also this is the first time we are doing anything like this, and I was wondering if you could give me any suggestions on pleasing everyone.
My Answer
My question to you is, did your girlfriend initiate this idea? If so, you should still proceed with caution. I think bringing another person into an intimate relationship is very risky, Even when you both think it’s fine, it often backfires. It takes a very rare person who can watch their lover with another person without finding themselves feeling threatened, jealous, insecure. Ask yourself, would you be OK watching your girlfriend with another man?
If she did not initiate this idea, I would be very careful about suggesting it. It could make her think that you’re desiring people other than her. Instead, you should ask her if she has any ideas on how to bring some new experiences into the relationship and see if she suggests it.
In any event, if you do proceed with the idea, it may be good to discuss exactly what each of you would be comfortable with. Maybe you should let them do things together and invite you in as they feel comfortable. Maybe just begin with oral sex and see where it goes from there.
I think this is very tricky territory. Some couples have managed to pull it off, but many find their relationship is permanently scarred. You might consider playing with the fantasy first. I always suggest sharing and describing fantasies to each other as you make love as an exciting and safe alternative to actually doing it. Besides, I have heard many men say that the reality of attempting to make love to two women is far less exciting and lots of work! Proceed with caution if you love your partner, and good luck!
Hope this helps!
Posted in: Ask Candida Archive